One Year of Marriage, and the Advice from Our Wedding

M and I have been married for one year. Lots of stuff has happened (real estate transactions, job changes, pregnancy, you know how it is with the first year of marriage), because we are delusional about our capacity for handling stress. Luckily, at our wedding, in lieu of toasts and speeches, we asked guests to give us much-needed marital advice to be read aloud from index cards, and it has really helped to resonate throughout our first year. I thought many of the cards could be helpful to others. And the rest were just fun for me to share publicly. Enjoy!:

Photo by Lauren Alisse Photography

Don't forget to continue going on dates! - John (M's happily married friend from Atlanta. Please stay warm out there.)

M, Never stop dating your wife. Surprise her & pay attention to detail. Don't wait for her to ask, beat her to it. - Adam (the pastor who married us) & Jamie (his very smart wife)  

Joyce, Don't expect M to read your mind, tell him what you are thinking, how you feel and what you like. Don't get mad if he doesn't know...he won't know :) It's your job to communicate - Adam & Jamie 

M loves scented oils. - Anonymous

M - Always take surf trips with the boys. Joyce - Always plan girls' nights out with your ladies! 1) It gives you time to miss each other. 2) Your friends love you too and want to indulge in your friendships! - Jen (Also, Jen, we need to go night snowboarding again, as soon as I'm not pregnant anymore)

M, I'm getting married in 7 months. So, can I get a copy of what you said about Joyce during the ceremony? I'll use my own words. Thanks! - Jason (M's longtime friend, whose now-wife planned the most Pinterest-worthy wedding I've ever attended. Their wedding invitation was a hollowed-out BOOK.)

Hi Joyce & M, Congratulations! When you come to Atlanta, leave your Monopoly Deal cards at home and take on your old man (M's) in EUCHRE. Warning - he cheats! Enjoy Hawaii! - Bill (long-time family friend)

Say I love you as much as you can. - Whitney (sound and easy-to-follow advice from a wise girlfriend)

M & Joyce, Always compromise out of respect and love, and remember, you will get out of your relationship what you put into it. Enjoy your life together. - Paul (long-time family friend)

Argue naked. - Many, many people (Should have followed this advice. All this time, I've been trying to get my way while wearing sweats, like a FOOL.)

Happy wife = happy life. - Anonymous

Joyce, Be careful when you talk to M in the morning OR when he's at the computer OR when he's watching TV. Trust me. Love you guys! - Mark (former roommate)

Hire a house cleaner! - Anonymous

M, Place your hand upon Joyce's....(pause)....shoulder. Let this be the last time you have the upper hand. - Jason (see above)

M & Joyce, Don't stop believing. - Journey  
P.S. Hold onto that feeling.

Every year on Aunt Joyce's birthday, Uncle M should make her breakfast in bed - Kailyn (M's niece)

They should go on dates. - Jordan (M's other niece)

Having lived with Joyce for 4 years, my advice to M is:

1) Start loving professional and college sports (Go Bears!)
2) Start (or continue) loving country music television
3) Keep lots of snacks at home 

- Anita (my college roommate. 2 out of those 3 things are still true.)

M, Remember that it is better to be happy than to be right - Ed (M's former boss, who is known for always being right.)

M & Joyce, remember JESUS. - Jim (M's physical therapist and fellow brother in Christ. His one-word piece of advice has been amazingly effective and time-saving for us, just FYI.)

Clothing is optional - Metz (wise friend)

M- Joyce is always right (seriously). - Jenn (even wiser friend)

For Joyce: Be selective about the things you nag him about.
For M: Joyce likes pickles (but you probably knew that). - Esther and Tarek (Esther is a friend since childhood who knows me well)

Remember what it was that made you fall in love with the other person whenever you get really mad at him/ her :) - Tim & Anna (cousin)

To M: Spend a Saturday at a coffee shop writing & attending open houses with Joyce - Holly (my dependable partner for attending open houses of real estate we will never be able to afford. This is what we do for fun.)

In marriage, differences are not a bug, they're a feature. Enjoy one another, and the new things the other can show you. Go Padres! - Caroline (in-house counsel for the Padres) and Adam (fellow software developer)

Joyce: I don't care if you're in labor. If it's overhead, let M go surfing.
M: If Joyce is in labor, don't go surfing. - Steve (my old co-worker at Outsource and fellow obsessed surfer. If M follows any advice, I hope it is this one. The End.)